Soft handshake (Maghreb, Middle East)
A firm handshake in Morocco can be perceived as brutality.
Meaning
Target direction : Moderate handshake = respect, trust, absence of aggression.
Interpreted meaning : Firm handshake = domination, rudeness, aggressiveness.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- morocco
- algeria
- tunisia
- libya
- egypt
- jordan
- lebanon
- saudi-arabia
- uae
- iraq
- iran
- pakistan
Not documented
- sub-saharan-africa
- east-asia
- indigenous-peoples
1. hierarchical respect and social distance
A loose grip is the norm in North Africa and the Middle East. It signals respect, non-aggressiveness and acceptance of appropriate social distance. This is the exact opposite of the US interpretation.
2. Rejection of physical domination
Shaking hands forcefully is seen as an attempt at domination or personal imposition - exactly what North African and Middle Eastern culture rejects. A soft handshake confirms, "I respect your equality, I'm not trying to physically dominate you."
3. influence of islam and muslim law
Classical Muslim law (Sharia, Fiqh) values humility and submission to God, not to others. A firm grip can be read as implicit personal arrogance. A respectful/soft grip honors this moral and spiritual hierarchy, affirming equality before God rather than earthly domination.
4. Radical difference with USA and commercial implications
A North African or Middle Eastern partner offering a soft handle does NOT lack confidence. On the contrary, it affirms its deep respect and social discipline. Interpreting this as weakness is a major cross-cultural mistake, often made by misinformed Westerners. In business, this has led to lost contracts, damaged relationships, and a lasting bad reputation.
5. Relational harmony and mutual trust
Trust in the Maghreb/Middle East is established by prolonged conversations, shared meals, exchanges of symbolic gifts, and a demonstration of reliability over time - NOT by a show of physical strength. The soft grip prepares this relational phase by affirming the absence of aggression, not replacing it. It's a foundation, not the whole building.
Historical origins
The musafaha (prophetic handshake) is documented in Hadith Abu Dawud 5212 (9th century) as a recommended greeting among believers — light, brief, a sign of equality before God. Axtell (1998) confirms that the soft handshake remains the contemporary business norm in the Maghreb and Middle East, contrary to the North American model valuing firmness.
Practical recommendations
To do
- En Maghreb/Moyen-Orient, accepter gracieusement une poignée molle comme signe de respect et de confiance établie. Rendre une poignée également molle (ou neutre) pour honorer ce code.
Avoid
- Ne pas interpréter une poignée molle comme une faiblesse ou un manque d'engagement. Ne pas serrer avec force en réaction (très offensant).
Neutral alternatives
In Levantine cultures, verbal greetings ("As-salaam alaikum" - peace be upon you) are more important than physical contact.
Sources
- Gestures: The Do's and Taboos of Body Language Around the World
- Gestures: Their Origins and Distribution
- Handshaking, gender, personality, and first impressions
- Sunan Abu Dawud
- Handshake — Cultural variants