The French Cheek Kiss (La Bise)
Greeting by cheek-touching: 1 to 4 kisses depending on region, with ambiguity on how many and which cheek to start.
Meaning
Target direction : Warm, friendly greeting signalling familiarity and social belonging. Standard between women and mixed-gender pairs; between men, reserved for close friends or southern contexts.
Interpreted meaning : Non-European visitors often interpret la bise as a romantic or intimate gesture. Anglophones tend to substitute a hug, perceived by French people as more intrusive than la bise itself. The number of kisses (2, 3 or 4) creates misunderstandings even between French people from different regions.
Geography of misunderstanding
Neutral
- france
- belgium
- luxembourg
- switzerland
- netherlands
- spain
- italy
- portugal
- brazil
- argentina
- mexico
- colombia
- chile
- peru
Not documented
- indigenous-peoples
- east-asia
- sub-saharan-africa
- south-asia
1. The Gesture and Its Expected Meaning
La bise is a greeting by cheek-touching -- the lips touch the air near the other person's cheek, or at most lightly graze the skin -- accompanied by a kiss sound. It is performed by slightly tilting the head, generally starting with the right cheek in most of France (left cheek in some southern areas). La bise involves no direct lip contact: it is a gesture of social warmth, not a romantic kiss.
Its use varies by gender and relationship: between women and in mixed-gender pairs, la bise is nearly automatic among acquaintances. Between men, it remains reserved for close friends and southern contexts; in northern professional or formal settings, the handshake remains the male norm.
2. Where It Goes Wrong
The main intercultural misunderstanding is the romantic confusion: North American, Japanese or Southeast Asian visitors sometimes interpret la bise as a gesture of romantic intimacy. This misreading is encouraged by the absence of such a gesture in their own repertoire of friendly greetings.
A second friction: Anglophones often substitute a hug, believing it to be an equivalent. French people perceive the hug as more intimate and physically invasive than la bise, producing the opposite of the intended effect.
A third source of confusion: the number of kisses. The number varies from 1 to 4 depending on the department. Two kisses predominate south of the Bordeaux-Nancy line. Three characterise Provence. Four are the norm in a large northeastern zone (Normandy to the Belgian border, roughly 22 departments). One kiss is practised in two isolated departments: Finistere and Deux-Sevres. Even among French people, confusion over the number causes awkward moments.
3. Historical Origins
(a) Documented attestation: The French word bise derives from the Latin basium, used by Catullus (1st c. BCE) for a kiss of politeness distinct from the erotic kiss (suavium). In the Middle Ages, a kiss on the cheek symbolised feudal loyalty. The Black Death (1347-1352) caused a documented interruption, as fear of contagion by physical contact massively reduced contact greetings. La bise revived gradually from the 17th-18th century in bourgeois and aristocratic circles.
(b) Oral tradition / historiographical hypotheses: Some sources suggest a role for the Capetian court in formalising the gesture as court protocol, and that post-Revolution egalitarianism facilitated its spread to popular classes. These remain historiographical hypotheses without primary source support.
(c) Contemporary generalisation: Sources converge in placing the generalisation of la bise as a daily practice from the 1970s, following May 1968, which loosened social conventions. The COVID-19 pandemic (March 2020) caused a sharp second interruption: 91% of French people practised la bise before the first lockdown; this fell to 39% by March 2021 (Ifop survey). By October 2021, 65% had resumed la bise with those close to them.
4. Contemporary Spread and Variations
La bise is not exclusively French: it is practised in Belgium (1 kiss standard), the Netherlands (3 kisses in families), Luxembourg, French-speaking Switzerland, Spain (2 kisses), Italy (2-3 kisses) and much of Latin America. Numbers and starting cheek vary by country.
Since 2003, the website Combiendebises.com has mapped practices department by department in France, becoming a popular reference.
5. Practical Recommendations
For foreign visitors: wait for the French person to initiate. Do not offer a hug as a substitute -- extend a hand instead if uncomfortable. Observe the local number of kisses before adapting. Remember that la bise in France is a neutral, non-romantic social greeting -- refusing it abruptly may be perceived as a social rejection.
Historical origins
Derives from Latin basium (Catullus, 1st c. BCE), evolved through the feudal kiss of allegiance in the Middle Ages, interrupted by the Black Death (1347-1352), revived in bourgeois circles in the 17th-18th centuries, then generalised from the 1970s after May 1968. COVID-19 in 2020 caused a sharp second interruption.
Practical recommendations
To do
- Attendre que la personne francaise initie. Observer le nombre pratique localement. Pencher la tete, effleurer les joues sans poser les levres. En cas de doute, tendre la main pour une poignee.
Neutral alternatives
- handshake
- nod
- elbow bump (post-COVID)